Rascal Burgers… Down Under home cooking.

As promised, the burger patties I made up yesterday actually turned out pretty good so Im going to share my recipe with you.

Prep Time: 10-15 minutes.
Cook Time: 10-20 minutes for the whole burger concoction.

Ingredients:

  • 500g of Beef Mince. I use the 20% fat version opposed to the lean mince, simply because the fat makes them more juicy and less likely to fall apart. I usually get a kilo and freeze the other half for spaghetti bolognese or tacos or some shit like that.
  • 1x Packet of Chicken Noodle Soup or about 2/3 a cup of breadcrumbs.
  • Salt and Pepper
  • 1 Egg
  • Parmesan Cheese (about 2 table spoons).
  • A big mixing bowl.
  • Kitchen scales.
  • Something to flatten the burgers down with.
  • You can also add stuff like onion and diced bacon or whatever you want to the mix. I prefer to keep it simple. Wochestershire Sauce never goes astray.

Directions:

  1. Put mince in mixing bowl
  2. Add all the dry ingredients. You can add other spices if you like, I tend not to follow a recipe really I just look in the pantry and do the whole trial an error. I think I put some garlic and herb seasoning in there. Dont be afraid to put too much… there is no such thing. Put what you think you should, then add a little more. Thats the right amount. Liberally season with salt and pepper.
  3. Add the egg and any other wet ingredients you may have, mix it in. You will get your hands dirty, but thats part of the fun. You just want to mix it together. Err on the side of caution because if you play with the meat too much it wont combine properly.. oh yeah, depending on the chicken noodle soup, the noodles will be in the burger. It wont affect the taste!

    Ive heard of people putting tomato sauce in their mix. I think thats dumb. But hey, if you like it, try it and if it works… go for it.

  4. Doing the simple math… for any Americans, a pound is around half a kilo. So if you want to make quarter pound patties, you need to split this mixture into 4 reasonably equal parts. For those of you going for the calculator… its 125g. This is what the scale is for…
  5. I have a piece of Tupperware that I can make the patties with, so I put the container on the scale, zero it out and then add the meat mixture until its around 125g. You wont get it exact, most of mine were around 130-140g. Flatten them out till they are around 2-3cm thick. Repeat this for as many patties as you plan to make.
  6. My suggestion is to put them in the fridge for a couple of hours if you have the time to give everything time to settle, and for everything to cool down and combine properly. I usually stack them on a plate with baking paper in between to stop them sticking. Take care to keep the patties together, so you will need to handle them gently.

Cooking the damn things:

  1. Get a frypan, add some oil. I used canola oil cos its what I had on hand. I also have peanut oil, but this isnt a stir fry.
  2. Heat the oil over a moderate heat. Turn your grill on so it is fired up ready to go (once gain, for the Americans, Im talking about the under the oven grill, not what you consider a BBQ)
  3. Once the oil is heated, you can test this by dropping a piece of onion in there and it starts to cook rather than soak the oil… PLACE your patties in one at a time. Dont drop them in, dont throw them in. This isnt some store bought pre-frozen patty. I would recommend using a spatula to lower them in. Let them cook for a few minutes.
  4. RESIST the temptation to flip them. Essentially you want the egg and instant soup or bread crumbs to combine everything together in the burger. Once you can see that they are cooked about half way through…THEN ¬†FLIP them.
  5. Once they are cooked through, I like to put the cheese on top and put them under the grill until it melts.
  6. Add to your burger bun with everything else and eat it!

Health and Diet stuff:

Once again, not a nutritionist, cant tell you the calories, carbs, sugars blah blah blah… but as with any burger you cook, its about what you put on it as much as whats in it. For these burgers, I had the following:

  • Avocado – spread on the buns.
  • Fried egg – Actually not bad for you. Its essentially protein
  • Bacon – Grilled and fat trimmed off it.
  • Jarlsberg Cheese (melted onto the burger)
  • Beetroot
  • Spinach
  • Sliced onion – uncooked (healthier because its not covered in oil and has a nice crunch to it).
  • Kaiser Roll.

To make this healthier, obvious I could shit can the egg and bacon, add something like pineapple and lettuce. I wont EVER put kale on a burger. I toyed with the idea of silverbeet or shredded carrot. I also forgot the pickles. But yeah, its your burger, do what you like.

As Im typing this I did my post dinner Blood Sugar test (Im non insulin dependant diabetic) and it went from 5.3 to 9.4… so yeah, this is not a food youd eat every night.

However if you’re in the mood for a treat, or you want a simple and easy to make dinner, you can easily make the patties and store them in the freezer or fridge.

 

Life Skills.. or why you dont want to starve when you eventually move out of home.

First of all, no this isnt millenial bashing. This isnt bashing any generation. However, I was taught something at a reasonably young age… self reliance. There is only one person who is responsible for who you are… and thats you.

Im not gonna give people shit about $17 Smashed Avo’s on toast with a single origin short black as a breakfast staple. Nor am I gonna give you shit because your essentially a metrosexual lumberjack with literally no life skills outside self importance and the belief that the gig economy is the answer to your laziness.

If you aspire to be an “Social Media Influencer”, or think that you’re just one viral video away from Kardashian levels of fame… hate to tell you the bad news… You’re not! You will need to start at the bottom and work your way up. You wont get summers off to follow your bliss and most importantly… no one cares about your feelings. You want a safe space.. build a pillow fort. Soon as you step out into the big bad world… you’re just another person, going about their business.

So… what does this have to do with anything?

Basic life skills… how to cook, how to clean, how to be self reliant.

Sure we live in this hyper connected world where anything you want to know is just a Google search away, and you can just pay someone to do the shit jobs, but lets face it.. there are some problems that cant be fixed by outsourcing.

I figure there are some basic skills that every one should have (and no I am not discriminating on the basis of gender here)… there are no boy skills and girl skills… just life skills.

cant change a tyre1. Changing a Tyre

So you find yourself having just blown a tyre. Sure you could call the Roadside Assist, but they could be hours away. You could call for a parent, but you think they’re gonna ever let you live it down?

Its not hard.. it just takes time.

2. Basic Cooking

No one is expecting you to be a chef, but believe me, if you dont want to starve, its a good idea to learn how to cook. Eating out gets expensive when you’re the one paying for it. With a little forward planning and imagination… get a piece of fish (salmon maybe), whatever spices you can find (Garlic Salt, Lemon, whatever)… wrap it in Alfoil (metal foil) and stick it in the oven on 200 degrees for about 40 minutes. Get a pre-packaged salad from the shops… and voila… you have yourself a somewhat healthy dinner with fuck all prep time and mostly sitting around waiting for it to cook…

3. Driving with a trailer

Remember how your Dad was some trailer backing wizard… you could be too. Driving with a trailer isnt hard. It isnt scary and it just takes practice. Just remember, your car is twice as long now and when you’re reversing, use your mirrors, whichever mirror has too much trailer showing, thats the way you turn the wheel. It takes time, it takes practice and it takes concentration.

4. Driving a manual transmission

Sure just about every car these days is an Auto, but you know what… you dont want to be stuck not knowing how to drive a manual if you need to. Get a couple of lessons. Get some practice… its a skill once practiced becomes second nature.

So yeah… basic life skills, or how to be a functional human being!